StoryTime aka Random Thoughts of a thinking-about-getting-sick mind - if Adam and Eve were cool with being naked once they got busted, does that mean we wouldn't have to wear pants all day?? I mean it was only them going "oh crap i have a boob/ball malfunction here!" that God went all Tommy HilFig-Leaf-ier on them. Eve was the perfect woman, (this is what perfection looks like guys - we're all horribly insecure about our bodies, even supermodels, get used to it :/ we wish we weren't and we wish we could see ourselves the way u see us but we don't. So don't forget to tell ur girl constantly what a hotty she is and smack her booty as a one handed round of applause in appreciation for dat ass ;) ) if she was more confident I'd currently be sitting here in the heat without the morning dilemma of "what is the minimum clothing i can wear while still being decent around teenage boys."

U can tell Eve was young. At 18 if a guy walks in on u naked ur like "Omg most embarrassing thing ever! I'm like, literally, going to like, die!". And u will think about that moment for many years to come and die a thousand deaths inside every time completely oblivious to the fact he will also think about that moment a thousand times only he's not upset about it ;) At 30 ur more like "oop my bad... ah they only saw my arse and it looks pretty ok from that angle, i think... I'm pretty sure... meh, hope they didn't notice the cellulity bits.... i should probably go to the gym... pfft seriously how often does that even happen. It's fine it's fine."

And Eve didn't even have a Cosmo magazine there to tell her she had saddlebags, or lines on her face, or bags under her eyes, or bingo wings, or a muffin top (not that you could have a muffin top back then. Thanks Eve! Muffin tops are all thanks to ur stupid idea about clothes!). Hell even if she did have all those she didn't have a mirror. Not to mention there were no other women around at the time for her to look at and go 'man she is way hotter than me'. Not to mention they were the first ppl so they didn't know what aging well vs aging like a rock star with raging coke habit even looked like. U can't go grey prematurely if u have no gague for what premature is. No mid life spare tyre if u have no idea when mid life is...

So fruit and women's body issues are the reasons we have to wear pants! I don't know how u guys got sucked into this too, i know how much u love not wearing pants. If only Eve was an exhibitionist we wouldn't have wedgies or ball adjustments or nip slips.... seriously why was she shy? It was her hubby and her maker, strut ur stuff woman! If only Adam had spoken up and said "damn girl u is looking fine!" maybe she would have gone "hell yer i do, check out dat ass!" ;) (i don't know why Adam and Eve suddenly turned ghetto there but u weren't there, u don't know they weren't) And why was he shy? Not like anyone else was there to compare sizes! If she'd just given him that look (u all know the one I'm talking about, little bite of the lower lip etc) he would have been all like "yes, i am the master! The king! I am a wily unkept beast given to you by God himself!!" (u know it's true, don't even try to pretend u wouldn't guys, those egos relating to sex are out of control.... seriously) and he never would have considered pants again!

Imagine a world without pants: for one there would be no fashion industry - No telling us that is so in and that is so last season. No "dressing slutty" cause everyone is just comfortable as they are. No being disappointed cause u ordered some pants online and they look nothing like the picture when they arrive. No annoying underwire poking out and stabbing ur boob. No scratchy shirt tag. No bit of string hanging off ur shirt tickling ur arm that u just can't wait to cut off but u can't find scissors so u try to bite it off and for a brief moment look like a rabid doberman trying to gnaw off its own arm.... No constant barrage by creeps saying "send nudes!" And no lingerie guys *sad face* (don't worry, I'm sure we'd work something out slutty wedding dresses ;) ). No wedgies. No 'gah i need to do the laundry I'm down to my B grade undies'. No 'does my arse look fat in this'. I'm not sure how we'd tell the difference between teams in sports. Also not sure how the Canadians are going to survive their weather. Or how Aussies survive without getting a burnt butt. Nowhere near as much judgment based on appearance - telling the suits from the tradies, the decent girls from the others, the Amish - how do the Amish stand apart?!! How do u catch a guy's eye if u don't dress all pretty for him?!! How do guys even function in a society like that ? we're well down the rabbit home now...

These thoughts have no conclusion, just on going ramblings of further ramifications of eating one stupid apple (and seriously apples don't even taste that good! I mean i might damn the world for a mango but an apple?!!) Do u reckon they were allowed to keep eating from that tree? I mean the deal is done so why not. Would suck if a) it tasted terrible so u totally damned the world for nothing or b) it tasted sensational but u were never allowed to eat from it again :/

Ok coffee break is over (as u can all clearly see I've had enough caffeine for the day). Feel free to add ur own rambling of said ramifications.